Struggling with Expectations of Perfection

I struggle with an expectation of perfection in myself and those around me.
I should be the

• perfect wife (of a perfect husband)
• perfect mom (of perfect kids)
• perfect homeschool teacher (of perfect, brilliant, willing and eager learners)
• perfect friend (of perfect friends)
  
• perfect Christian (in a perfect church)
• perfect cook (of perfect home cooked from scratch, 100% organic and whole food meals, with home grown veggies from my organic garden) Phew, that was a mouthful!
  
• perfect homemaker (of a perfect, immaculate home cleaned with natural, non-toxic cleaners)
  

What do I do when I fail to meet my expectations?

I give up and don't try anything. Just like a spoiled little kid that does not get their way. Then I get depressed and condemn myself for my failures. I exaggerate my failures and wallow in my despair. Who am I trying to impress?

Galatians 2:20 reminds me that what I do, I do for Christ's glory, not my own. When I do something with excellence, it is only because of God's grace to give me the ability. If I remember this, I can free myself from the trap of expectation of perfection and strive instead to do things completely and acceptably in Jesus' sight, as in Hebrews 13:21.

Do I sound like I have expectations of perfection in my quest to abandon perfection? Oh no!
It is easier for me to be realistic in my expectations for others than it is to give up those expectations of perfection in myself.

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20 KJV

Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, Make you perfect* in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing* in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Hebrews 13:20-21 KJV

*From Strong's Exhaustive Concordance

Perfect-G2675
καταρτίζω
katartizō
kat-ar-tid'-zo
From G2596 and a derivative of G739; to complete thoroughly, that is, repair (literally or figuratively) or adjust: - fit, frame, mend, (make) perfect (-ly join together), prepare, restore.

Wellpleasing-G2101
εὐάρεστος
euarestos
yoo-ar'-es-tos
From G2095 and G701; fully agreeable: - acceptable (-ted), wellpleasing.

I copied the bible verses and Strong's definitions using (free)

"What grade are you in?"

My kids are frequently asked,

"What grade are you in?"

That is such a tough question for students that are homeschooled. We fit their education to their interests and their skills, not their age. At various points in their education they are "above grade level" in certain subjects, "below grade level" in others and very rarely, right "at grade level." Here is some info about homeschool grade levels. This year the girls will be studying Biology and Algebra together. The Engergizer will probably learning some of the Biology and Algebra too by overhearing and joining in on discussions. They take classes that are open to homeschoolers of all ages.
The Engergizer and Animal Lover are pictured in a science class that included kids from ages 6-15.

So how do we answer the grade question? We could choose to just answer with the grade they are expected to be in based on their age, but it just does not seem right, so they just say,

"We homeschool, so we are in different grades in different subjects."

What do you do when you get that question?

Baby on the Move

My son "The Energizer" will soon turn nine. I remember the day when he turned one. At the time I wrote a story and thought this would be a good time to republish it.

Just before his birthday he was toddling around the house and getting into everything he shouldn't. It's amazing how my wife, the girls and I are constantly bouncing up from our seats to rescue little "Energizer" from the latest no-no he has come across. I never thought so many things could be within reach of this little bundle of energy. I don't think my own arms extend as far as his do!

Our living room has become a virtual fortress. We have a gate that blocks off entry to the kitchen, which seems to be have its own gravitational field. The instant the gate is opened it becomes the event horizon for a black hole. Spaceship "Energizer" is pulled towards the cooking area as though it was the most important place on earth. If he does pass the high barrier erected at the kitchen's entrance we do have security locks on the cabinets. Although, I have to admit, why we have childproof clasps on cabinet doors three feet above his head is beyond me. I suppose his mother is concerned that when he is 15 he shouldn't have access to the food and other goodies up there. Although, recalling my appetite when I was 15 I really can't blame her.

We have another gate that seals off the hallway leading to the back of the house. He has not yet learned how to climb it or open it, which is good. Woe to us, though, if we inadvertently leave it open! Like radar he homes in on it on those all too frequent occasions when one of us does leave it unlatched. One moment he is in the living room, the next we hear the slapping of tiny bare feet down the tile hallway floor. If the girls have left the playroom door open there will be a mad dash after their brother. God forbid that "The Energizer" finds one of their Barbie dolls and starts to sample one of its feet! More than once he has been found happily chewing away on a poor, yet tasty, hand or foot, much to the consternation of his older sisters.

If all the doors are closed and the gates are up, "The Energizer" is relatively safe. He has not taken to climbing the furniture yet. If he does I can only imagine our only choice will be to suspend everything from the ceiling. While I am not ready to take such a drastic step I can see it happening if his current level of energy and adventurousness continues. Already he has taken a renewed interest in the ceiling fan (as a baby its lazy spinning would keep him entranced for blessedly long periods of time).

"The Energizer" is very proud of his newly acquired ambulatory skills. Just last night he was stomping around the house blowing a plastic flute, heralding his arrival (as if his footfalls and squeaks of glee were not enough to announce his impending appearance). I don't recall his sisters being so physically active at this age. They both were, and still are, great talkers. Speaking is less important to "The Energizer" than constant motion. People say that is because he is a boy. I don't know if it is or not but I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world.

© 2001 by Gregory Giordano

Homeschool Field Trips

Field trips, who says homeschoolers don't go on field trips? As long as I can remember, I have been going on field trips, be it with other homeschoolers of various ages, or just with my siblings and my mother.

I have been to lots of places: Tampa's Lowry Park Zoo, The Florida Aquarium, MOSI, Flowers Bread Factory, Gulf Specimen Marine Lab, Myakka River Florida State Park and Canopy Walkway, Rochester NY, Niagara Falls, and too many more to list now.

I would say one of the major pros about being homeschooled is the ability to go places on school days, during school hours, when there are no lines and hardly any crowds. It is a great opportunity to visit art museums and explore in peace and quiet.

Busch Gardens, Tampa Bay is great on weekdays when the crowds are pretty nonexistent. Riding the Sheikra rollercoaster 4 times in a row is educational, right Mom?

(This video is by Antonio Carlos Silveira, posted on google videos, we did not record it ourselves)

Field trips are one reason I love being homeschooled.

Eclectic, Relaxed,or Unschooled

So what is our homeschool style?

Well, I know we are not doing "School-at-Home" or "Classical Homeschooling",

We tried a virtual school for a few months and it was a disaster. Stay tuned for horror stories about Florida Connections Academy.

I love the ideas of Charlotte Mason but just dabble in it.

We sometimes do Unit Studies and make Lapbooks.

We have done Co-op classes, but the kids just do not like to spend "friend-time" sitting in a classroom. They want to PLAY with their friends!
We do invite friends over to do projects.



Here they are using lime batteries to light an LED.

We do make good use of the internet: Aleks math, Chess Kids Academy, and many more online homeschool tools.

I like the concept of Unschooling but I would have to say our homeschool style is Relaxed/Eclectic.

If you would like to read more about how we homeschool, check out my Squidoo lens- Eclectic Homeschooling Works.

How would you classify your homeschool style?

Coming up soon, books that have influenced our methods of educating.